Quick, to the slutcave!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
