I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
