We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
