I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
