Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
