i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
