apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
