Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
