Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
