I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
