My first STD was from a foam party
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The air was thick with penises
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
