A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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