if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
