It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Randomize
