we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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