If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
This house was built for laser tag.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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