of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize