Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
