So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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