I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize