You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
