so explain again why im purple
no
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
