I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize