you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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