whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
