tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
