So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
