True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
