what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
