pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
