I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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