I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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