I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize