so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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