Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
