One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
