so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
