can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
