She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
