No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
