a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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