i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize