I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
