Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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