how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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