Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i love accidental penises.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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