We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
