You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
