I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
