I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
