She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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