I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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