I just saw a hot homeless man
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
