so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
