I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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