We're like a lot better than the average bears
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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