I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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