He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
no you cant smoke seaweed
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
