Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
