During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
