you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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