No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
