hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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