it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize