And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
