love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize