should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
