i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
