I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Small penises have feelings too.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize