Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
