did you get engaged???
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
