i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
