I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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