You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
