just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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