I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
